RIP Tony Curtis

"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife." 

- Tony Curtis 1925 - 2010.

Film Review: Cherry Tree Lane

I must say I was quite impressed by this movie. In my opinion I saw it almost as a British version of The Last House On The Left (remake), except… well the Cherry Tree Lane story plays off in a house and it’s a little tamer. 

Twelve Trailer

I'm not quite sure what to make of this movie as far as the trailer goes... But it's out on DVD now and it has some awards behind its name so far. Will this trailer convince you to buy the DVD or would it be better to wait for it to show on TV? I'm not sure, I might watch it just because I need to soothe my own curiosity...

DVD CATCH UP - The Horde/Frozen/Twelve/The Tortured

I thought I'd be nice and share with you guys a little something... Halloween is approaching at an alarming rate and there's nothing better than to have a small (and somewhat horrifying) gift for those horror lovers in your life. It's just an idea... Remember TRICK OR TREAT!

Quote Of The Week : Boiler Room (2000)

"I read this article a while back, that said Microsoft employs more millionaire secretary's that any other company in the world. They took stock options over Christmas bonuses. It was a good move. I remember there was this picture, of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrari. Blew my mind.

Film Review with Robert Mann - The Town

The Town ****½

As an actor Ben Affleck has never been a favourite of movie critics, or anyone for that matter, and, in spite of a few arguably good performances (although not everyone will agree with me on this), his reputation is one of simply not being able to act at all. To borrow from a certain song featured in Team America: World Police, it’s “like Ben Affleck needs acting school”.

The Tortured Trailer

The perfect marriage of Craig and Elise Landry is suddenly shattered when their young son is abducted and murdered. When the killer is brought to trial, he manages to plea bargain his way to a lighter sentence. Utterly outraged by this miscarriage of justice

Film Review with Robert Mann - Eat Pray Love

Eat Pray Love **

There was a time when Julia Roberts was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Yet, like many of tinsel town’s most successful actors her star has fallen since the beginning of the 21st century with her once loyal fans having moved onto pastures new and (aside from ensemble films such as the Ocean’s movies) her films no longer being either the box office draws they once were or, in some cases, even receiving the same level of critical prestige.

Film Review with Robert Mann - The Hole

The Hole 3D ***
The Hole 2D **½

Director Joe Dante is not a director whose films easily attract moviegoers. Of his best known features (clearly so given that the studio marketing The Hole have opted to say “From the director of Gremlins” in the trailer), the supposedly family friendly (although blatantly not give the UK 15 rating for both) horror(esque) films Gremlins and Gremlins 2: The New Batch, only the first film was successful at the box office, with the second proving to be a pretty big miss, certainly not helped by a tendency towards in-jokes.

Film Review with Robert Mann - Aspie Eyes: The beautiful eyes of Asperger's Syndrome

Aspie Eyes: The beautiful eyes of Asperger’s Syndrome *****

“Those of us with Asperger's syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism, often are accused of being “stoned”, or flirtatious, or are told our eyes are beautiful, innocent, or child-like. This video represents the eyes of Asperger's syndrome, wonderful and beautiful. Such a depth to these eyes, and I believe these eyes are indicative of our inner selves. This is a project which I have taken somewhere around 6 months to complete.

Film Review with Robert Mann - Taste on Autism

Taste on Autism *****

Taste on Autism is an 8 minute animated short film by Ben Htoo that was created for his individual Major Project for Raffles Design Institute in December 2009. It tells the story of an Autistic boy and a neurotypical girl who first meet as children. The girl immediately takes a liking to the boy but when she tries to get his attention by touching him, unaware that he is Autistic, he responds angrily, prompting her to run off. Many years later, they encounter each other again. He is a customer at a burger restaurant and she is a waitress there.

Film Review with Robert Mann - Defendor

Defendor (DVD review) ****

A superhero movie that you haven’t even heard of? Heck, a superhero movie that even this critic hadn’t heard of until I saw it on the DVD shelf at ASDA. That is how under the radar a film Defendor is. Unlike the majority of superhero fare, this is a film that hasn’t been graced with a cinema release, rather going the straight to DVD route, but this doesn’t make it a film any less worth checking out than any other superhero flick.

Dot

Check out the amazing short feature film produced by the Oscar-winning Aardman. The whole thing is shot on a Nokia N8 phone, fitted with a microscope.

Film Review with Robert Mann - The Other Guys

The Other Guys ****

Will Ferrell is, in this critic’s opinion, one of the funniest men in America. When it comes to choosing projects to star in, however, he often doesn’t pick the ones that show this the best, his films being very hit and miss in terms of both quality and popularity, ones like Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby setting the box office alight (in the states at least – here in the UK Will Ferrell is something of a non factor) and winning rave reviews while others like Land of the Lost are commercial failures and critical duds

Film Review with Robert Mann - Devil

Devil **½

“From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan”. These words, which have adorned all the marketing materials for Devil, may well be the death knell for the film in terms of attracting an audience. Shyamalan, who was once regarded as a visionary filmmaker and whose name equalled must see movie, has come to be regarded as a self righteous hack, a director who makes bad movies yet acts as if he has made great ones – case in point, The Last Airbender, a

Stand Up To Cancer

STAND UP TO CANCER TEAMS UP WITH eBay GIVING WORKS  FOR SPECIAL ONLINE CHARITY AUCTION

Bid on One of A Kind Experiences and Celebrity Meet and Greets in Movies, Music, TV, Radio, Sports & Broadway!

Big Ticket Auctions Include The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Set Visit, Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark Opening Night Package with Bono & The Edge, Flight with Richard Branson, Shooting Hoops with NBA Star, and More!  

Stand Up To Cancer (www.standup2cancer.org) is once again joining forces with eBay Giving Works to offer incredible charity auction experience packages in Film, Television, Music, Broadway and Sports that will raise funds for innovative cancer research

Guilty Pleasures: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Poor Sean Connery, he turned down the roles of Morpheus in ‘The Matrix’ and Gandalf in ‘The Lord of the Rings’ because he didn’t “understand” the scripts, then, when each film came out and became the biggest movie of the year he felt, understandably, stupid. So, chose to accept whatever big effects-heavy script he didn’t understand that came his way…

Film Review with Robert Mann - Resident Evil: Afterlife

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D ****
Resident Evil: Afterlife 2D ***

Following up the totally awesome Avatar was never going to be an easy feat for any 3D movie but so far no 2010 movies seem to have even tried to deliver the quality of 3D that was on display in that film. In fact, 2010 has been a rather underwhelming year for 3D all round with the format’s once stellar reputation having been damaged

Film Review with Robert Mann - Going The Distance

Going the Distance **

In real life, Drew Barrymore and Justin Long’s on again/off again romance has been the subject of celebrity gossip in the glossy rags for quite some time. Now, with the release of romantic comedy Going the Distance, their real life relationship troubles have been translated to the big screen. A romantic comedy that is clearly trying to be relatable to moviegoers by dealing with an issue that many couples face in real life

DVD Review: Kandahar Break: Fortress Of War.

It's 1999, two years before Afghanistan will experience the violence of Western liberation, and the Taliban still exert a draconian grip on the people. Working for a private firm, two Englishmen (Shaun Dooley and Dean Andrews) are contracted to sweep the war-ravaged Afghan deserts for mines. When one of them falls foul of the local police chief, all hell breaks loose, and a manhunt ensues.

What's Up Lovely

Writer/director Gary King has gone more experimental whilst pushing boundaries and switching genres. A musical is in the works and a zombie piece is out soon. 

This film, What’s Up Lovely is his latest...

Film Review with Robert Mann - Tamara Drewe

Tamara Drewe ***½

Comics – they’re not all about superheroes you know. Case in point, Tamara Drewe, Posy Simmonds’ weekly comic strip published in The Guardian (and also released in its entirety as a hardcover graphic novel) which, based on Thomas Hardy’s nineteenth century novel Far from the Madding Crowd, follows the exploits of a young newspaper journalist –

Reminder - Dinner For Schmucks GIVEAWAY!

To celebrate the release of Dinner For Schmucks (at cinemas September 3, cert 12A) we are offering you the chance to win one of 5 limited edition Dinner for Schmucks t-shirt packs.

Fuck! Bonded By Blood

Whilst watching new UK thriller Bonded By Blood (review soon...) the swearing was counted. 

It’s total of 312 uses of the word ‘Fuck’ - goes straight in at number 10 in the ‘List of Films That Most Frequently Use the Word Fuck’ according to Wikipedia

Film Review with Robert Mann - Cyrus

Cyrus ***

One of this year’s acquisitions from the Sundance Film Festival by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Cyrus (a film which surprisingly carries the producing credits of Ridley and Tony Scott) has failed to break out in the way that some other films picked up for distribution from the prestigious festival have in recent years (films such as Slumdog Millionaire and (500) Days of Summer come to mind in this regard) but has nonetheless proven to be a minor success on limited release at the US box office and a solid critical performer. Coming from writing/directing team Jay and Mark Duplass – for whom this is their breakout film, their past films being under the radar indies starring actors no one is likely to have heard of – Cyrus has received largely positive reviews to date. Is this critic going to jump on the bandwagon? Of course not. In the past I have made no secret of the fact that I am not exactly a fan of Jonah Hill. And, as a result, I understandably went in to see Cyrus with a lack of anticipation (of the good kind at least).

John (John C. Reilly) has been unlucky in love. He's been single for seven years and his ex-wife (Catherine Keener) is about to be remarried. With his social life at an all-time low, John is persuaded to attend a party, but the evening looks as though it's heading for disaster when John gets drunk and makes a show of himself. So it's to everyone's surprise – including John's – when he meets Molly (Marisa Tomei), a beautiful and gregarious woman with whom he has amazing chemistry. However, John soon discovers that Molly has another man in her life - her 21-year-old son, Cyrus (Jonah Hill). Cyrus and Molly have an unusual relationship and it quickly becomes clear he's not willing to share his mum with anyone, least of all John...

Cyrus is a film that shows much promise and a clear degree of talent on the part of writing and directing duo Jay and Mark Duplass yet, at the same time, fails to live up to its potential and demonstrates a distinct lack of ambition on the part of the filmmakers. What they have created is a comedy drama that, thanks to solid writing and dialogue, convincing depictions of realistic and believable characters in honest situations, camera work that is low-tech, handheld, shaky and right in the faces of the actors, and a lack of musical scoring for much of the duration, looks, sounds and feels raw, real and personal. This is a film that lacks all the bells and whistles that tend to come with Hollywood movies, something that wouldn’t be a problem (or may even be a strength) were the substance here truly excellent, but unfortunately this slow paced film never engages as well as it should. There are two key reasons why this is case. Firstly, the storyline fails to be truly engrossing. Secondly, considering that this is supposed to be a black comedy, the filmmakers seem strangely afraid to go anywhere truly dark with the humour and the themes explored. It’s almost as if they got half way towards making a great movie then just gave up, instead settling to make an average one. The humour here, as with many comedies, will very much be a matter of personal taste, mostly being subtle and observational rather than in your face and silly, and while some will find the film hilarious, others may be bored by it all. It is as a drama, rather than as a comedy, that the film really works best. Fortunately, the characters are mostly well realised, something that is crucial given that this film is driven almost entirely by the characters. John C. Reilly is raw, sympathetic, likable and amusing as John and he shares a very believable chemistry with Marisa Tomei, who herself is a quirky, likable and well rounded romantic interest. Tomei also shares a strangely believable odd mother-son dynamic with Jonah Hill, something that makes their characters’ unusual relationship very plausible. Hill himself once again delivers a performance that fails to seem distinctly different from any of the other roles he has played to date but here his casting kind of works, with him portraying just enough emotion for us to see Cyrus as a somewhat troubled young man who just wants acceptance as opposed to a psychopathic individual whose possessiveness over his mother is dangerously out of control. These performances are what really keep the film afloat as, while Jay and Mark Duplass do show some talent, it is clear that they are not fully tapping into it here. Only skimming the surface rather than digging deeper, they fail to go far enough with the concept and while the film really is “raw and honest” it isn’t engaging or entertaining enough to fully satisfy. So, Cyrus is a film that is not really deserving of many of the stellar reviews that have preceded it but it isn’t worth any kind of condemnation either.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

From Crystal Lake To Manhattan, To Hell, Then Space And Back To Crystal Lake Again... The Friday The 13th Film Series In Review, By Damien Sage

From Crystal Lake to Manhattan, to Hell, then Space and back to Crystal Lake again...
The Friday the 13th Film Series in Review
By Damien Sage

I went into the history of "modern" horror and the slasher film genre, in specific, in my review of the Halloween Series, so I'll try not to rehash too much here.

Essentially the modern horror genre and it's various aspects/off shoots were formed in the mid to late 70's. Violence, nudity, gore and emphasis on body count over characterization and plot became the norm, for better or worse, after a spate of esteemed fright flicks (The Exorcist, Jaws, The Omen, Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc.) brought the genre back into bankability and acceptability.

By 1980, for the most part, true horror, terror and suspense had been replaced with the "slasher film." There are of course people that find slasher films frightening... Then there are others, like myself, that find them amusing.

Now, how is it that seeing teenagers getting brutally hacked up by a hulking psychopath lingering in the shadows became so perfectly part of the norm that it's totally alright, even expected, to laugh at?

Three words... Friday the 13th

Yes, behold the magic of the series that both fully cemented the slasher genre as a horror mainstay, made tons of money (for it's big studio backers Paramount Pictures) AND killed horror at the same time.

I love the series dearly, it has been a part of my life, all my life. But, there's no denying that it's compromised of bad acting, flat direction, non-existent plots/characters/continuity and solely exists to show off a bunch of tits... Preferably tits in peril.

So, lets get on with it shall we?

Friday the 13th (1980)-
Directed By Sean S. Cunningham
Starring Adrienne Curry and Betsy Palmer

In 1958 a few counselors got murdered at Crystal Lake, by someone. Years later, in 1980, the camp is being prepped for reopening. The counselors show up, they make a little mischief, have a little sex and get a lot murdered.

That is it pretty much, plot wise, aside from the (now) "twist ending" (SPOILERS) in which the mother of a young boy named Jason Voorhees, is the one doing the killings, as revenge for the death of her son due to negligence from the counselors.

Friday the 13th and it's sequels are really just about the body count. Some are better at it than others and this one is among the best, but still.

The film is decently, if somewhat amateurishly, shot, with a "Texas Chainsaw" like gritty-realism that lends a certain gravitas to the proceedings. The ending "shock" sequence in which "Child Jason" pops out of the water for one last surprise actually attains a level of cinematic beauty. But the movie isn't scary, at least not to me. It is a showcase for legendary gore maestro Tom Savini, a few sets of boobs and Harry Manfredini's iconic "Chhh Chhh Chhh Haa Haa Haa" score. Plain and simple.

What really sets this one apart from the rest of it's brethren is Betsy Palmer as Pamela Voorhees. Once she is revealed as the killer (and you picture her stringing bodies from trees, chucking them through windows, etc. in her lovely soccer mom sweater) and starts chewing up the scenery with the greatest of psychotic glee it takes the movie to a level of surreal, demented camp that was never again surpassed in the series (despite how hard they tried.)

And, speaking of trying hard... the body count continues...

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)-
Directed By Steve Miner
Starring Amy Steel and John Furey

The survivor of the last film is offed in a long winded opening sequence. Then the movie jumps back to the AREA of Camp Crystal Lake. Another Camp is being opened, the counselors show up, they have a little sex... Yadda, yadda, yadda...

Sound familiar, right? Get used to it. As that is essentially the plot of EVERY Friday the 13th film.

Part 2 is better shot, acted, written and paced (aside from the opening sequence) than it's predecessor. And it features what many fans consider to be the best "Final Girl" of the series, Amy Steel as Ginny. (Final Girl, being the term used to describe the last person, usually a lady, alive to face off with the killer at the end of the film. Blame Jamie Lee Curtis.)

As Ginny, Amy Steel bucks the trend by being genuinely intelligent, possessive of a personality and GASP not a virgin. She out smarts Jason (now fully grown and taking over mom's murderous ways) at every turn, including a lengthy and suspenseful sequence where she leads him around in the dark, backing up, evading and covering her tracks, while her attacker (practically frustrated) runs around two steps behind. In the end Ginny also gets to use her chosen profession as a child psychologist to put the kabosh on Jason, planting a machete in his neck, while pretending to be his dear, decapitated mom.

The movie would be probably the best in the series (at least of the "serious" entries) were it not for 1. Being too short, yet padded at the same time. And, 2. Having an incredibly dumb shocker ending that just leaves heads scratching and a bad taste in the mouth.

Lets move on to the new dimension in terror...

Friday the 13th Part 3 (In 3-D) (1982)-
Directed By Steve Miner
Starring Dana Kimmell and Paul Kratka

Only mildly annoyed by the machete to the neck in the last film Jason gets up, steals some new clothes and heads back out into the area around Crystal Lake for a bit more carnage. Luckily for him a group of horny "youngsters" are headed to a lake side cabin for a weekend of doping, sexing and... being made available to be easily killed.

This entry is famous for two things, 1. Jason gets his iconic Hockey Mask (previously sporting a far creepier sack.) And, 2. Being shot in 3-D.

Aside from those two facts and a couple of creative kills (speargun through the eye, man split in half while walking on his hands, head crushed so hard his eye pops out at the camera, etc.), this is a dull entry into the series. Seemingly warn out after directing Part 2 with quite a bit of flare, Steve Miner gives this one a flat, lifeless look. Part 3 is the film equivalent of "beige." The lead actor/final girl are bland, the rest of the cast is just annoying and the whole affair just seems tired.

We can head on over to the final chapter now me thinks...

Friday the 13th- The Final Chapter (1984)-
Directed By Joseph Zito
Starring Kimberly Beck and Corey Feldman

Picking right up from the last film, the axe is removed from Jason's forehead and his body is taken to the morgue. After a brief rest Jason is up and ready to continue on his merry way. Fortunately for our old pal (you guessed it) a group of horny kids are headed out to the lake for a weekend of... Blah, blah, blah.

I consider The Final Chapter to be the best "serious and traditional" entry in the series. It has an undeniable visual style, including some lovely slow-motion shots (notably a breath taking one where a victim is tossed from a 2nd story window only to land on the roof of a car, shattering all of it's windows, then collapsing onto the ground, in one take), fluid widescreen photography and a tight pace courtesy of veteran genre director Joseph Zito.

Tom Savini was brought back to kill off Jason (he created the shock ending that thrust Jason unto the world in the first film) and the kills (although fairly heavily edited in most prints) are the best in the series.

Lastly, the ending (SPOILERS), where the exceptionally good Kimberly Beck, must defend her young brother Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman) from Jason is the only one in the series to have any real emotional heft and drama to it. The last sequence is also the only one in the series to come close to matching the delirious melodramatic camp of the original, whereby Corey Feldman transforms himself into Young Jason and viciously hacks at the adult form with his own machete, until all you hear are squishy noises and Tommy's screams of "Die! Die! Die!" emanating from the soundtrack!

But, as is often the case with this series, the decentness isn't to last... With their cash cow seemingly dead, Paramount Pictures scrambled to craft a new beginning for Friday the 13th...

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)-
Directed By Danny Steinmann
Starring John Shepard and Melanie Kinnaman

After putting Jason in the ground "once and for all" Corey Feldman's character Tommy Jarvis has gone a bit cukoo nutso (and turned into the excessively attractive John Shepard.) Taken to a halfway house for emotionally troubled youths Tommy struggles to deal with his past, as the bodies begin to pile up... Is Tommy doing the killing, or is it a random incidental character that is so illogically shoe horned in AS the killer it's impossible to fathom how the film ever made it to the screen? Bump, bump, baaaaaaaaaaa!

Yes, my synopsis does sound wildly different than the ones that came before, but it isn't. Despite it seemingly having more plot and potential than the others, this one actually has the LEAST amount of both. Murders happen seemingly every two minutes (in fact this entry has the highest body count), thusly characters and people come and go before they even get a cursory first name introduction.

This isn't the worst film in the series, but it does come close. Despite having the most boobs and bodies the film is pretty dull. It looks decent, but far to bright for a film of this type. And, really, it just seems to chug along with no rhyme, reason or rhythm until it ends and the lame (BEYOND LAME) twist is revealed.

Don't worry though, Paramount realized that no one liked (SPOILERS) Roy the paramedic offing people so in the next one, Jason lives!

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)-
Directed By Tom McLoughlin
Starring Thom Matthews and Jennifer Cooke

Tommy Jarvis (now, genre fave Thom Matthews) brings Jason back to life, thereby ushering in a new killing spree at Camp Forest Green (aka Crystal Lake.)

Although I consider The Final Chapter the best in the series, Jason Lives is my favorite. A lot of people agree with me, mainly because this is the "funny one." Or at least the one intentionally played for laughs, while still feeling like a true Friday the 13th film.

Jason Lives is essentially the same old thing you've seen before, but with it's tongue planted firmly in cheek. The movie is not what you would call laugh out loud funny, but in a cheeky, snarky way, the movie pokes fun at all the conventions of the series, while playing up to them gloriously and somehow seriously. The film is visually stylish, the best looking in the series. And the acting is great all around, being also the best in the series in that department.

The ending is a bit of a let down though, as (SPOILERS) Tommy pretty much just drops Jason back in the lake. But, it's a solid entry and as I mentioned, my favorite...

Laughs weren't loved by audiences at the time however, so the next entry brought us some new blood...

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)-
Directed By John Carl Buechler
Starring Lar Park Lincoln and Kane Hodder

A young telekinetic girl named Tina comes to stay at Crystal Lake with her mother and psychiatrist. Tina then unwittingly resurrects Jason, sending him on a murderous rampage...

Dubbed by fans (for obvious reasons) "Jason vs. Carrie" The New Blood is an ambitious, interesting, but ultimately un-inspired entry into the series. It is also the first film to introduce Kane Hodder as Jason. (He becoming the longest person ever to portray the hulking, silent madman.)

And what an introduction it is. Jason never looks better than he does in this film. Every previous injury is noted on his gloriously rotting frame. The shot of Jason emerging from the lake, his spine and bones showing through his tattered clothes is particularly inspired.

However, it would seem Jason's impressive look was the main thing on Director (and noted special effects wizard) John Carl Buechler's mind as the rest of the film looks rather tepid. The telekinetic effects are decent, but average, The acting is just so-so. And really, the plot is just a whole bunch of people running around in the woods for no discernible reason and getting whacked by Jason and his increasingly ludicrous array of weaponry (seriously he randomly picks up a saw bladed weed whacker while strolling through the forest.)

Also, on a sour note, the film once again ends with Jason being plunked down into the lake... Booooorrrrrrrring!

Now, from the bland decentness of The New Blood we take a little cruise... to the nadir of the series, and Manhattan...

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)-
Directed By Rob Hedden
Starring Jensen Daggett and Kane Hodder

A passing boat anchor annoys a giant electric cable at the bottom of Crystal Lake thereby waking Jason from his watery slumber. Voorhees then hitches a ride on the owner of said anchor and drifts... somewhere... somehow, out to a major port by the open sea. Old Jason then hops onto worlds oddest cruise ship (really more like a vast, empty cargo vessel) which is populated with a High School class's after-graduating party. I'm sure you can guess what happens after that.

Here we are at the worst of an already not amazing series. This is the one everyone loves to hate, and for good reason. Everything is bad all around. The cinematography is flat and over lit. The acting is sleepy and wooden. The special effects and kills are neutered and bloodless. And, worst of all, Jason is "pussified" in this one by having him scream and speak like a small child in the film's finale.

The biggest offense however, comes with the title. Jason spends about ten minutes in Manhattan (passing up DOZENS of victims, to go after only the people from the ship), at the very end of the film. The rest of the movie is confined to the previously mentioned cruise ship, giving everything a plain, samey feel...

Aside from the awesome poster art (seen at the top of the article), Jason literally punching a guys head off AND "off-screen teleporting" around a disco JUST to fuck with someone, this one is BARELY watchable.

Realizing this entry was a giant turd Paramount washed their hands of the series and sold Jason off to New Line Cinemas (then owner of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series.) The good folks at New Line decided it was time for a change, so they sent Jason from Manhattan, to hell...

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)-
Directed By Adam Marcus
Starring Kane Hodder and John D. LeMay

In a cheeky opening sequence, we find Jason (inexplicably back after his death by toxic waste disintegration in the last film, don't ask) at his old stomping grounds of Crystal Lake. Jason, in typical fashion, chases a beautiful, buxom, towel clad lady out into the forest. Just as she trips and falls and Jason is about to strike, we get our first big surprise in the series... A team of heavily armed military agents appears and lay into the masked killer, finally blowing him into a million pieces.

Movies over, right? Sadly no. This is where it flies off the tracks. The bits and bobs of Jason are taken to the morgue, where upon the Doctor in charge of his autopsy eats Jason's still beating, black heart, thusly becoming Jason. The movie then slips into fairly normal territory (aside from Jason having to jump in and out of people's bodies as they become injured) as Jason cuts a bloody swath through town as he hunts for a living Voorhees relative to be "reborn in."

Throw in a laser light show, a weird demon slug thing, a bunch of winking "in jokes", Erin Grey, and one of the best kicker endings in horror history and that's Jason Goes to Hell in a nutshell.

Sounds ok, right? As I liked to say in my Halloween Series review, at least it's different.

And, that's just it though. The movie is different, but in the end just ok. There is potential for a good film in there somewhere, but there's so much going on, so much making up for past plot holes and logic gaps, that it all just gets sort of weighed down in the process. And, ultimately it's just SO different and out there and winky that it becomes overtly silly, especially during the Manitou-esque climax.

It looks nice though. Has the best acting AND characters in the series. And a brilliantly graphic kill early in the film (best seen in the Unrated Cut) do set it apart. I like the movie, but most others don't.

Any case, after Jason went to hell, there was nowhere for him to go but up, right? Yes and no. The series literally moved up, to outer space, but this unfortunately caused everything to sink back into the toilet again...

Jason X (2001)-
Directed By James Issac
Starring Lexa Doig and Kane Hodder

We open with Jason in captivity in some vague military research facility (Where has Crystal Lake been hiding this all these years?) He breaks free, kills a bunch of people, then gets cryogenically frozen. Several hundred years in the future Jason is unthawed on a spacecraft populated by... horny, STUPID teenagers. The usual ensues.

When a series gets to a point where it's ripping off direct-to-video dreck (ie Leprechaun 4: In Space and Critters 4: In Space) you know it's time to either throw in the towel, or start over anew.

Made during the "development hell" of Freddy vs. Jason (promised at the end of Jason Goes to Hell) Jason X is a mess. Once the novelty of Jason being in space wears off (and it does so VERY quickly) it's literally the same old same old show we've seen 9 times before.

Sure, there is some cheeky fun to be had and it's all mostly well acted, shot and paced. But it's just a going through the motions of cliches. There's a bit of Alien, Aliens and Event Horizon here and there, mixed in with all the tropes of the Friday the 13th series, but despite how hard it wants to be, it's just not any fun. And, it's certainly not scary (the series stopped TRYING for that back with Part 4.)

Jason X is watchable (as are all the entries) but it's probably the third worst (behind 8 and 5, respectively.)

Now would be the time, proper, to move onto Freddy vs. Jason (2003), but I don't think I'm going to. While the film is GREAT and is a more than decent homage/continuation of both the Friday the 13th and Elm Street series, I am going to leave it until I get to reviewing the Elm Street films. Despite the movie being much more like a Friday the 13th film, anything with Freddy in it, becomes Freddy's show.

Any who, realizing there was nothing to do after Jason X and Freddy vs. Jason (besides giving us the promised, but most likely bad Freddy vs. Jason 2) New Line decided to jump on the remake bandwagon (they started) and hit the old reset button on the Friday the 13th series...

Friday the 13th (2009)-
Directed By Marcus Nipsel
Starring Jared Padalecki and Danielle Panabaker

In a pseudo-condensing, re-hashing of the first 3 films, Friday the 13th Version 2 gives us boy Jason witnessing his mom get her head whacked off. Grown up Jason living in the woods with a sack on his head, then getting his hockey mask. And, a whole lot of Jason doing what he does, ie killing stupid teenagers that dope up and have sex near Crystal Lake.

I didn't enjoy the new Friday the 13th. One thing people tend to forget about the tropes of the original early films is, that despite not being all that scary, they at least TRIED to be scary and suspenseful. Also, Jason's victims, while often horny and irreverent never went about their activities in a knowingly over the top way. The early Friday the 13th films were genuine (and often populated with semi-likable people) and that's what gave them their charm, for lack of a better word. The new Friday the 13th is trying so hard to include everything you expect from a Friday the 13th film that it becomes a joke (and a sour one at that.)

It throws two new things into the mix: Jason holding someone captive AND explaining how he's able to get around faster than everyone else (he travels through a system of underground tunnels.) But, these things are ALL that are brought to the table in terms of "newness."

The acting/characters in the film are atrocious and un-necessarily mean spirited. The dialog is as bland as it is knowingly referential to the usual things found in the series' past. The plot as such is chock full of images and moments from the past films. But, it all is thrown together in a haphazard, poorly paced manner, that just jumps from place to place until it's all over. The kills are quick and un-Friday the 13th like, all flash and no build up. And, despite the movie longing to homage everything from the originals Harry Manfredini's classic "Chhh Chhh Chhh Ha Ha Ha" only makes one brief appearance (the rest of the score being "jump" noises and stings.) Oh, and the ending, is one of the dumbest I've ever seen (and I have seen A LOT of dumb horror movie endings, I'm looking at you Spontaneous Combustion.)

(SPOILERS) After being terrorized by Jason for the entire film, seeing their friends get brutally slaughtered by him left and right, the final two survivors "kill" Jason, then in an odd jump cut we find they've lugged his giant body down to the lake, where they dump him in (as some sort of proper burial or something.) THEN just to have a kicker, after a beat of silence Jason pops up from the lake, grabs the "Final Girl" and the film cuts to black.

On the plus side the new Jason actor Derek Mears is good. Rivaling Kane Hodder, in my opinion, for giving Jason the most personality. It seems as though Mears combined Hodder's brutal intensity with the ruthlessness of Warrington Gillette in Part 2. The cinematography from genre staple Daniel Pearl is effectively moody. And, surprisingly for a new film (even of this type), there is a copious of boob on display.

Friday the 13th 2.0 is a bland exercise though. Spiritless, witless and charm-free. A remake of a film, in which all 9 of it's sequels were in essence, remakes. A copy, of a copy, of a copy, of the homage of a copy. Once again, it's watchable... But... meh.

The newest installment in the grandaddy of all slasher film series made quite a bit of money though. And, as expected, Friday the 13th Part 2 (Redux) is due out next year. Will it be more of the same? Probably. Will that keep me away? No. In twenty years and 8 or so more sequels down the line will I remake this very article as the series is reset again? Looks like it.

I Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican, And I LOVED It... A Review Of Robert Rodriguez's 'Machete'

I Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican, and I LOVED It...
A Review of Robert Rodriguez's 'Machete'
By Damien Sage

I was one of the eleven people who saw the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez homage to B Movies Extravaganza 'Grindhouse' on opening day. I LOVED Rodriguez's half of the experiment (Planet Terror) and loathed Tarantino's (Death Proof.) In the middle of the two films, however, were the best bits. Several fake trailers, in similar over the top, blood stained, gritty good old fashioned ridiculousness: Eli Roth's Thanksgiving, Edgar Wright's Don't, Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women of the SS and lastly, the one everyone was talking about afterwards (and the one to be made into a film first), Robert Rodriguez's Machete.

Machete the film, much like the trailer, is a series of over the top, giggle inducing, hyper-violent set pieces, strung together at a brisk pace by a convoluted, overly melodramatic plot.

There is a crazed, redneck, illegal immigrant hating Senator (Robert DeNiro ACTUALLY seeming to have fun for a change) and his insidious, power mad aide (the brilliant Jeff Fahey.) There is a sociopathic drug lord with a penchant for decapitating his enemies (a surprisingly amazing Steven Seagal.) A rather good, but underused Lindsay Lohan dressed as a gun-toting nun. Cheech Marin, stealing scenes as always, as a deadly, foul mouthed priest. And the incomparably awe inspiring (yet also underused) Don Johnson as a sly, cigar chomping vigilante, just to name a few of the interesting faces and characters that move the whole film along.

All that should be incentive enough to make you want to see the film. But really, in the end, if you're a fan of old school, Charles Bronson style, over the top 70's revenge/action flicks, Machete is for you. It's a gloriously tongue in cheek exercise in B-Film entertainment. It has enough blood letting, boobs and bad assery for 10 Movies and it flies along at such a brisk clip you wont even care that it all doesn't make a lick of sense.

Throw your pretensions out the door, pony up the dough and go see Machete right now if you want to have a good time at the movies. Period.

10 out of 10 "Introducing Don Johnson" Credits

Film Review with Robert Mann - The Switch

The Switch **½

Well, what do we have here? Yet another romantic comedy starring the increasingly bland Jennifer Aniston. Not only that but, after this year’s dreadful The Bounty Hunter, another high concept romantic comedy starring the increasingly bland Jennifer Aniston. A loose adaptation of the short story Baster by Jeffrey Eugenides, which was first published in the New Yorker in 1996 and later included in the 2001 best-of anthology Wonderful Town, The Switch is another film that seems to distinguish itself by its concept – although, after this year’s Jennifer Lopez romcom The Back-Up Plan the set up won’t entirely seem fresh – and also one that boasts some decent talent behind the camera. Just like her previous film, Aniston’s latest boasts some very promising directorial talent in the form of Josh Gordon and Will Speck, the men behind 2007’s Blades of Glory starring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, a film which still ranks among Ferrell’s funniest in this critic’s opinion. However, as I said, The Switch boasts promising talent just like Aniston’s last movie and in that case director Andy Tennant, who had done such a good job with the Will Smith romantic comedy Hitch, completely failed to make anything even remotely enjoyable. The Switch is not a repeat of Aniston’s last film but given how poor that film was this isn’t really saying much...

Attractive singleton Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) decides she wants to have a baby. Despite the objections of her neurotic best friend Wally (Jason Bateman), she chooses to go it alone, with the services of handsome and charming sperm donor Roland (Patrick Wilson). Wally has always had feelings for Kassie, but as his friend Leonard (Jeff Goldblum) points out, he missed his chance and she put him in the 'friend zone'. But things don't go to plan, as Wally gets so drunk at Kassie's 'insemination party' that he accidentally spills Roland's handiwork and ends up replacing it with his own. Seven years later, Kassie returns to New York along with precocious - but neurotic - son Sebastian (Thomas Robinson). Wally forms a bond with this loveable mini-version of himself, but the bad news is that Roland in the picture too...

While The Switch is not a repeat of the awfulness of The Bounty Hunter, it isn’t a return to form for Aniston either, as, while this film boasts an interesting premise that is dealt with a great deal of sensitivity and even (though some voiceover narration by Jason Bateman, mostly in the opening sequence) has some slight philosophical leanings, offering up commentary on the human condition, it is ultimately lacking as a comedy and piece of entertainment. This isn’t to say that the film is bad but it isn’t especially good either, rather being just bland, as is the case with Jennifer Aniston yet again. By and large, few complaints can be made about this film’s cast but Aniston just delivers another bland performance, failing to portray anywhere near the level of emotion that is sometimes necessary in the role and, as a result of this, her chemistry with Jason Bateman is so-so, sparks completely failing to fly between them. It’s a shame because Jason Bateman is quite decent, being perfectly neurotic in his role, and young actor Thomas Robinson perfectly captures all of Bateman’s mannerisms, making us never doubt that his character is Wally’s son. Also, Patrick Wilson is perfectly charismatic and there is amusing support from Jeff Goldblum and Juliette Lewis (as Kassie’s friend Debbie). The film also boasts some good cinematography and editing work, being generally quite technically proficient, but the film is let down by a script that, while being pretty well written and offering up some decent dialogue, is all too low on laughs, much of the humour being subtle and not overtly noticeable, and also missing the crucial x factor that could have transformed this film from average to truly enjoyable. The film doesn’t conform entirely to the standard predictable romcom formula but not being unconventional and being truly good are two different things and sadly The Switch is a watchable film but never anything more than just okay. If this is your top choice to see on a trip to the cinema you may want to consider doing a switch of your own and going with something with a bit more edge to it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Film Review with Robert Mann - Dinner for Schmucks

Dinner for Schmucks ½

The journey from production to being released in cinemas has not been an easy one for Dinner for Schmucks. The latest directorial effort from Jay Roach, the man behind the hilarious Meet the Parents films and the (not quite as hilarious) Austin Powers movies, certainly has a lot of talent at its disposal with its cast including such comedy stars as Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and Zach Galifianakis, but rather than seeming like a slam dunk in terms of both film quality and box office potential as you might expect from a film with these credentials, the filmmakers were left reeling following a disastrous response at the film’s first test screening where the audience reacted extremely negatively with the consensus being that the film crossed the line and was “mean-spirited”. You see, this film, inspired by the 1998 French black comedy Le dȋner de cons by Francis Veber, has a premise that essentially borderlines on the offensive no matter how you look at it, its characters making fun of “idiots” just for fun and to an extent us viewers being encouraged to do exactly the same thing. The negative reaction at the test screening prompted the studio, producers, Carell and Roach to take another look at the film and attempt to rework the film to ensure that “the movie didn’t play in mean-spirited fashion” and when this new version of the film had its test screening, the film received a much warmer response and it this version of the film that we now get to see in cinemas. Sadly, however, (to use a somewhat puerile expression) you can’t polish a turd.

Up-and-coming executive Tim (Paul Rudd) is hoping for a big promotion, but first he has to pass a cruel and unusual test. Every month his boss Lance Fender (Bruce Greenwood) hosts a 'dinner for idiots', where he and his cronies each invite an unsuspecting patsy for the sole purpose of making fun of them. Horrified, Tim's fiancée Julie (Stephanie Szostak) convinces him to skip the dinner, but that's before Tim bumps into Barry (Steve Carell). A nerdish tax office worker who devotes his spare time to building elaborate dioramas featuring stuffed mice, Barry is the Holy Grail of idiots. Unable to resist, Tim invites Barry to the dinner, but things don't work out quite as planned. Likeable Barry turns out to be a walking disaster area, and his blundering good intentions soon send Tim's life into a frenzied downward spiral and a series of crazy comic misadventures.

Oh dear. All that reworking and Dinner for Schmucks is still the cinematic equivalent of having a lobotomy. Seriously, not only is the film still largely mean-spirited – even though, in the end, things do end on a (relatively) happy note for the “idiots” – but it is also almost entirely unfunny, borderline disturbing – the shots of the Barry showing off his “mousterpieces”, i.e. his collection of taxidermy mice dressed up in outfits, manage to come across as both cute and creepy at the same time – and a criminal waste of good talent. A disastrous screenplay lacking any wit or ingenuity offers up one lame gag and piece of dialogue after another, delivering the worst gag hit rate seen in a comedy for a long while. Only one scene in the entire film made this critic laugh and that one involved Barry meeting a couple of Switzerland and saying that he speaks some of their language before going on to speak like the Swedish Chef from The Muppets. When that is the highlight of a comedy, you just know that it is a complete disaster. The humour on display here is more likely to make you cringe than laugh and pretty much everyone involved should be ashamed to be involved. There again, based on the quality of performances on display here, perhaps they were. Paul Rudd spends most of the film just looking bored and delivers what is perhaps one of his worst performances to date. Steve Carell fares considerably better but, while seemingly trying to be amusing and succeeding to some extent, also comes across as just weak, even if he does make for an all too convincing “idiot”. And no one else in the cast fares any better, with everyone – Zach Galifianakis (as Barry’s fellow idiot boss Therman), David Walliams (as Swiss billionaire Müeller), Jemaine Clement (as artist Kieran who Tim thinks is trying to steal his girlfriend), Ron Livingston (as rival executive Caldwell) and Bruce Greenwood – failing to deliver even on a satisfactory level. Even if the performances were fantastic, however, the combination of dreadful writing and weak direction would likely have still made for a film that is more akin to torture than entertainment. Comedy is supposed to be funny. This film is not. Simply put, Dinner for Schmucks is not a movie but rather a disaster of epic proportions, a film so criminally bad that it is likely that only idiots will actually enjoy it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Film Review with Robert Mann - The Last Exorcism

The Last Exorcism **½

Seeing the words “Eli Roth presents” in the marketing for The Last Exorcism will no doubt give many people a certain sense of expectation from this film. But you may as well throw away many of those expectations right now. While Roth has developed a reputation for filmmaking of the most sickeningly gruesome and violent, his films Cabin Fever, Hostel and Hostel Part Two being clear examples of this, this film (which carries his name but it not actually made by him) is a horror movie of much more the psychological kind, in fact being awarded an American PG-13 rating, something that should be good news to any more squeamish horror fans out there. Following in the footsteps of films such as Cloverfield, Diary of the Dead, [Rec] and Quarantine among many others, this is the latest film to adopt the documentary/found footage approach to horror filmmaking, with the intention here obviously being to make us believe that what we are watching is actually real, even if, unlike The Blair Witch Project, we clearly know this not to be the case. After underwhelming exorcism themed films like Exorcist: The Beginning and Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist, can this latest attempt at an exorcism themed film follow in the footsteps of The Exorcism of Emily Rose in providing both a fresh take on the exorcism movie and being a genuinely good one at the same time? Both yes and no apparently.

Arriving at the isolated Louisiana farm of Louis Sweetzer (Louis Herthum), the charismatic preacher Reverend Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian) is expecting to perform his usual fake exorcism on a disturbed religious fanatic. An earnest fundamentalist, Sweetzer is certain his teenage daughter Nell (Ashley Bell) is possessed by a demon. Facing his conscience after years of parting desperate believers with their money, Cotton plans to have his film crew record a confessionary documentary of his last 'exorcism'. But when they see the already blood-drenched farm, it's clear that true evil is at work. With no turning back, Reverend Marcus' own beliefs are shaken to the core as he and his crew must find a way to save Nell – and themselves – before it is too late.

The Last Exorcism could almost pass for a real documentary such is the level of realism on display here. While often proving somewhat annoying and distracting, the shaky camerawork, the out of focus shots, the poor lighting and the conversations taking place off screen really do create a sense that what we are watching is in fact real. This is aided considerably by dialogue that sounds completely authentic and acting that is so uniformly excellent that it is easy to forget that we are watching actors at all. Patrick Fabian’s on-screen charisma makes him completely believable as a smooth, confident preacher who is convinced that he knows and is doing what is right. Ashley Bell’s transformation from innocent Christian girl to violent, foul mouthed possessee is shockingly realistic. Louis Herthum is perfectly unhinged as the mentally unstable father. And all the bit players never fail to completely convince either. All this realism serves to make what happens on screen all the more scary and, while this is not the most gut wrenchingly terrifying film you will see about exorcism (or anything for that matter), it is still a very chilling film to sit through and one that has its fair share of scares. So, why the low rating, you’re wondering. Well, while the film starts out as an interesting exposé of the hoax behind exorcism and even seems headed back in that direction at one point, when the (apparent) supernatural element is introduced the film heads into more familiar and predictable territory. Also, the presentation of the film almost like a complete finished documentary with footage edited together and interviews included destroys the illusion of the film being real footage that has been found, thus detracting from the impact of the overall film. The real crime on the part of the filmmakers, however, is the lame tacked on ending which completely ruins the film, both ending it on a needlessly predictable note and destroying the integrity established by the more interesting content that features earlier in the film. If only the film came to an end five minutes earlier an extra star on the rating may have been warranted but, as it is, The Last Exorcism is a decent horror film that suffers because it promised to be different but has ended up too much like many others.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Review by Robert Mann BA (Hons)

Tassha 3D

Today is my lovely mate Tassha's 23rd birthday!

Happy birthday dear, hope you're having a great night.

She saw Piranha 3D the other day and she's jotted down what she thought below.

Put any preconceptions aside, this film is not one to miss. Think constant laughs, mixed with scantily clad women and pure gore. Piranha 3D is two hours of total cinema enjoyment, and it's not just one for the lads. Possibly THE film of the year.

PREVIEW: CHERRY TREE LANE

I was lucky enough to get you guys a great little tit-bit on upcoming horror movie "CHERRY TREE LANE" with a nice interview and an awesome trailer! Now what is this here "CHERRY TREE LANE" you ask? Well according to some resources and a plot synopsis it's about the following:

"Christine and Mike are normal parents living in a semi-detached house on suburban street CHERRY TREE LANE. They don’t realise it, but a desperate and terrible situation is just minutes away. They sit and eat their evening meal, discussing the day’s events at work. Christine answers the door to a group of three teenage boys asking after her son Sebastian for a kick around. Telling them he is out, she closes the door and returns to her meal. The door goes again. This time, as Christine opens the latch, a sudden unexpected attack leads to a terrifying house invasion. Striking at the heart of the deepest suburban fears and played out in real time, CHERRY TREE LANE explores what happens when a living nightmare bursts into the home you assumed was safe."

Sounds good, no? Well maybe if you see the trailer you'll see what I mean with how awesome it looks:

As for the interview, upcoming directors and writers might find some wisdom out of the following one from award winning writer / director Paul Andrew Williams ("London to Brighton" and "The Cottage") quite invigorating.

Q: Where did you get the idea for Cherry Tree Lane?

I wanted to make something that was more real than Hollywood. Something that the studio system would be too scared to make, but that I knew I could as a British independent filmmaker.

I wanted to make something about genuine fear, something that cinema-goers could connect with. It’s a big fear of my girlfriend’s and we’ve talked about it a few times. It’s a classic human fear – the fear of what is outside your front door. Of the unknown coming inside your home.

Q: How does it differ from your previous films, London to Brighton and The Cottage?

They’re all different. It’s just its own thing. There’s going to be elements from both of those films in this film, but I think it’s just different in the sense that it’s got it’s own style. The only thing you could send that was similar is the quality of the acting, that’s the same that’s gone through all of them.

Q: How long was the process from initial concept to filming Cherry Tree Lane?

The concept was ages ago, but I wrote the script about 3 months ago. It was a very quick process, and I trusted my instincts. We achieved it by saying to everyone “we want you to do it, but if you want to do it you got to let us know by the end of the week,” rather than “do you want to do it, we’ll wait for 3 months for you to say yeah.” You start pushing very hard and go “right we’re doing this, we’re doing this, we’re doing this” and then hopefully people sort of follow on from that. But the industry’s so slow that sometimes you just need to push everyone to say “we’re doing this thing, are you going to do it or what?” And then some people said yeah, which is good.

Q: Which did you want to be first, a writer or a director?

Probably a director, I find writing can be tedious.

Q: Can you imagine being one without the other?

Yeah, I could be a director without being a writer, but I couldn’t be a writer without directing it. Because I’d be like, that’s not how it is. I’m too much of an egomaniac.

Q: As you’ve watched the script play out have you made any changes to the original?

No, not really. The odd line here or there, because I don’t know street speak as much as I’d like to. The odd line, but that’s it.

Q: How did you go about casting the film?

It was quite difficult because of what the parts call for, it’s intensive. It’s an emotional journey. First of all we’d meet everyone and we’d start doing a bit of improve, then on the next meeting we’d go through the script, break it down. There was a lot of different processes, to make sure that they; one were comfortable in what I wanted to do and I was comfortable in what they wanted to do.

Q: What would you like viewers to take from Cherry Tree Lane?

I approached the film with a very definite thought process, but I don’t think people who watch this film need me to tell them what to think. I’d encourage people to watch it, and draw their own conclusions.

Q: There are some violent scenes in the film...

No there’s not! There’s violent scenes around the film. I don’t think it’s that violent at all.

Q: Implied violence then... did you find these hard to direct?

I think sometimes they were difficult, but then when you see somebody in distress, obviously performing in distress, it can be quite difficult. You’ve got to try and do it as sensitively and as professionally as possible.

Q: You’re now on the last day of the shoot, how do you think it’s gone?

Long. Just intense, so intense being in such a small place for so long. By the time tomorrow morning comes, it’ll be an adjustment to go back to normal life. I’ve got shit loads of bills and crap I’ve got to fix at home. Thank the lord for coco pops.

Q: What were the greatest challenges on set?

All being in the same location! Having twenty people in one single room! Which is incredibly claustrophobic. It’s good for the film, but it’s stifling and it’s hard to concentrate when you’ve got fifteen voices going on.

Q: The location you’re shooting in is in north London, which happens to be very close to your home, was that coincidence?

It’s 100% coincidence. We did look at other places, but this was just the best one.

Q: Over the last few years there has been quite a lot of press around gang violence and street crime. How relevant is this film to that agenda?

I think that will be up for other people to judge how relevant it is. I think this is just an eighty minute story and, I think if anything, hopefully it highlights the difference between the lack of understanding between both class and generation with a lot of people. Also, the desensitisation of some of the youth today, where nothing really means anything anymore, good or bad.

Q: Do you think Cherry Tree Lane is as relevant to audiences outside the UK?

It’s a story, it’s not a statement. It’s not trying to cast light or exercise a judgment on someone. It’s just like a moment. It would translate anywhere.

Q: How hard it is to have an independent film made in the UK today?

As hard as you want it to be. It depends what you want to make. Making films is not easy. Look at the state of me, I’m knackered

If you've read all of that, then you're good little minions and I shall reward you with the location and time of the free screening of "CHERRY TREE LANE" which will be showing at The Alibi in Dalston on Monday 6 September 2010. The doors open at 8 pm and the film starts at 9 pm. If you aren't able to make it, then rest assured, I've worked my magic and the movie will be available on DVD from the 13th of September 2010.

See, even horror can be kind.